4. Submissions Wisdom
5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Ladies interpret love differently to the way that guys do. It feels like everyone knows this, but no one will say it. Guys generally don’t respond to flowers, jewellery and a box of chocolates. This might be stereotypical, but they exist because they describe so many guys. However, respect goes a long way for a guy. And if you want to make your guy feel loved, wanted, cherished; learn how to respect him.
Now, ladies you also require respect, obviously, but you don’t interpret respect in the same way as men do.
Men compete for respect.
Men start fights for respect.
Even full-scale wars are started because of a lack of honour and respect.
And ask any man, how much he loves being disrespected. Irrespective of his age, young men love their parents shouting at them in a disrespectful and critical way! Guys love being smothered by controlling mothers who do everything for their sons because they are trying to be helpful! And married men really enjoy their wives belittling them in front of others or thinking of them as useless!
Seriously though, if you speak to him (and of him) with genuine authentic respect and honour, he feels like a king. And will also be encouraged to start acting like you want him to. Sarah called Abraham “lord”. The Greek word is simply a term of respect. So don’t call your guy lord (That’s dodgy). It’s like ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’ or in some cultures (Sir). She spoke to him (and of him) with respect. It’s not only the way you speak. It’s what you really think about him. Sarah thought Abraham was competent enough for her to follow his lead. This is a far cry from contemporary cultural views like ‘Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them’. Sarah ‘obeyed Abraham’. Not in everything (see Genesis 21:8-13). But when they were faced with tiebreaker decisions, she trusted him enough to respect his leadership.
Why is it that even good flirting is all about showing great honor and respect to a guy?
‘Wow, your arms are so big! Do you work out?’
‘I’ve never seen anyone parallel park so well!’
I’m being silly, but good flirting is all about affirming a man’s competency. Sometimes in marriage, wives stop giving their husbands this kind of affirmation and the spark can get lost. It also is aggravated if the husband gets it elsewhere from co-workers or other ladies. And you don’t want some other lady making him feel like more of a man than you do. Submission is more than just letting him make the tie-breaking decisions. No, he needs you. He is designed to have you build him up or break him down. Wives and mothers can grow leadership or they can suppress it. Hope that’s been helpful? Next week we talk to the men about what makes a real man!