Relationship advice for the ladies…Part 3

What do you think will help you most in your relationship; being ridiculously hot? Or having inner beauty like that of Jesus?

3. Submissions Beauty is its humility

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands (1 Peter 3:3-5)

Inner beauty is greater than outer beauty. But this is so counter cultural. If you have to jump from your bedroom cupboard to fit into your pair of jeans… then you’re working too hard at your outer beauty. If your GHD is overheating because you take so long with your hair… its too much! Consider the importance of the “hidden person”. Pastor Mark Driscoll is on the money we he said that what every teenage girl gets taught at 13 is:

More make up + Less clothes = More attention

Show more skin, make yourself really sexy, say things like this, wear these kinds of clothes and you will be thought of as beautiful…The fashion industry is booming with a gospel to save you from the hell of being ignored and overlooked. And the savior is beauty!

It’s in no way wrong to be beautiful and in fact it would be foolish to start dressing like a 1920’s missionary. But the real gospel says that Jesus was the most inwardly beautiful person who ever lived. He left the worship of the angels and the glory of heaven to live as a man, experience rejection and die on a cross at the hands of those whom he created. His humility still penetrates the hearts of millions. And by imitating his humility we too can discover true beauty. Outer beauty is important but ultimately it is fleeting. But inner beauty never fades and truly enhances a relationship. Do you put as much effort into your inner beauty as your outer beauty? Your outer beauty is valuable, but your inner beauty will yield you a greater return.

This raises another related question often asked by guys and girls; ‘how can having sex with one person for your whole life in marriage be better than having sex with multiple partners?’ If not asked then at least thought. The answer is simple, fall deeper in love with the bride of your youth because she keeps growing in inner beauty and you will understand. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about the blessing that my wife has been to me. Her humility, her grace towards me, her patience with me, it’s beautiful. Random, casual sex will never bring the depth of love shared between a man and woman who grow in adoration for each other year after year.

This only happens if you let your “adorning be the hidden person of the heart” (1 Peter 3:4). So, whether you are a young, single lady or whether you have been married for a while you need to start striving for this now. The best way to cultivate this inner beauty is to give friends permission to challenge you. There is nothing like constructive criticism from a friend to edge away our pride. Wounds from a friend can be trusted (Proverbs 27:6) and ultimately they will sharpen the features of your inner beauty (Proverbs 27:17). In fact it will deepen your friendships (Proverbs 28:23). You might be someone who goes to church, but have you truly given permission to someone to challenge you? Are you really open? Don’t be like independent Eve, making her own decisions and learning from her own mistakes. Start cultivating humility; the true inner of a submissive heart.


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